a rose by any other name would smell as sweet

in a little more than 3 months Pooky & I will be tying the knot, and the thought has run through my mind about the whole surname change custom. While I doubt Pooky would give up his family name entirely and become Mr. Carlson like everyone calls him now whenever I go to the hospital or we shop at Safeway, perhaps he would consider becoming Carlson-Jarvis or Jarvis-Carlson. If we put Carlson first then we'd both be alphabetically near the top. Not that it's really important where you fall in the scheme of the alphabetic order.

It seems to freak people out the notion for a man to take on his wife's name, but no one bats an eye if the woman changes her name. I caused a very big rucous one day in my Women In American History class. We were to cover an article in this book and I had the pleasure of talking about Lucy Stone, an outspoken American woman who didn't change her surname. When I finished my report I was then to open up a discussion. Did I ever open a can of worms! I didn't think it was such a big deal, but all of these wanna-be liberated women said that they would take their future husband's last name! I was shocked beyond belief! Not one of them saw a reason to keep their maiden name. Maybe it was because I was in Pennsylvania and the area was predominately Republican. Who knows?

Anyhow, when I got married at 17, I didn't take on his name for a few reasons. First, I liked my name. Second, no one knew how to pronounce or spell his name. (In case you're curious it was O'Lague.) Third, I knew the marriage wouldn't last and didn't want the double hassle of changing everything back once the marriage ended.

If I am going to be legally bound to Pooky, I think we should both take on each other's name. It only seems appropriate because we are becoming a unity, a partnership, and most importantly a family. I found what one woman had written about with her husband taken on a combined hyphenated name.