The Day That Wasn't But Was

For weeks (seven of them actually) I prepared myself to have surgery on the 23rd, which was yesterday. I've been asking myself and to the greater Cosmos why my surgery date was cancelled—was there a hidden "God moves in mysterious ways" kind of purpose to my surgery being delayed? Stuff like that feels unknowable to me—so I just amuse myself with self-imagined reasons why my ileostomy surgery didn't happen.

I poured a lot of my energy into being prepared. I feel like a balloon with the air let out. Can I fill myself back up once a new surgery date is scheduled? So much went into filling it up the first time...I think having another "Kiss My Ass Good-Bye" Party would be awkward. We did the send-off of my rectum and anus; we went around the table and "let go" of things. It was all very grand and fun and I felt loved and accepted and truly blessed to have such support.

My mind swirls with ideas of rescheduling. The good thing is, I was worried about Module 5 becuase it is required to attend and to miss it would have been EVIL. So I will be attending it without worry of surgical recovery. Once Module 5 is over, there is only Module 6 and Module 7 and Mini-Module 4. Where do I fit in the surgery now? Maybe April? But that terrifies me because I have a wedding scheduled that month and I'm sure more to follow as April is the kick off of the marriage season. But according to my calendar, having it done right after Module 5 will give me the greatest time off between Modules for recovery. This is all dependent upon the substitute surgeon being someone I feel comfortable with performing the surgery, too.

So much swirling around in the Essence! I wonder if the Powers That Be get scheduling headaches. Do they find it amusing to through monkey wrenches in the plans of us mere mortals? Only They know the reasons for what they do. We just scratch our heads and ponder. I'm reminded of a saying from one of the Murphy's Law books: "What the Gods get away with, the cows don't." I have no idea what that means, but it feels like it fits.