June 2005 Archives
There's a back story to this post. When I first met Pooky I knew he was The Pooky I Wanted To Spend The Rest of My Life With. So I told him that I wasn't like most girls (I am a Shrone) and being a Shrone I didn't want the standard ring and marriage proposal. No, I required something much more meaningful because after all, I'm unique just like everybody else and by golly I wanted him to explore the depths of my soul and find out what magical marriage proposal he could create that would truly capture his understanding of who I am (as a Shrone, of course).
Three years went by. I dropped hints along the way that might point him in the right direction. He rebuffed my hints saying I would expect that and he wanted to surprise me. The more I tried, the more he resisted, the more furious I began to seethe inside. Time was running out. I wanted to marry on Leap Day 2004, and if we missed that date we'd have to wait another four years.
It was a chaotic time. Our original marriage plans crumbled before us as both of our families had no interest in being part of our nuptials. Financial concerns were an issue as well. How could we realize some of our wedding dreams without going broke? As Leap Day got closer time was of the essence and we rushed to carry out a watery version of the ceremony we had envisioned. Pooky slipped under the radar without a marriage proposal.
I resented him for that. He had three years to work on it!
Fast forward now to tonight. I was emptying out my ostomy bag before going to bed. I thought of how Pooky has been my unsung hero this past month. He's been stalwart at my side going to work at night, coming to see me in the hospital during the day, tending to all 5 felines and for much of that time bottle feeding the kittens to picture perfect health, doing the laundry, keeping the kitchen mostly clean and ant free, not killing the fish (though their tanks are in need of a good cleaning), sometimes watering the flowers, mowing the lawn when it hasn't rained, answered all of my e-mail regarding the wedding officiant business, took care of "business" regarding school for me, paid the bills on time, and didn't turn any of the whites pink or unusual colors in the laundry, bought food, made food, got me food when I craved it while in the hospital, slayed dragons, battled demons and slimey sea serpents...OK, you get the picture. He was UNFAILING in his duty as protector of the realm. A true KISA (knight in shining armor). And last but not least, he even managed to knit himself a pair of socks during all of this!
I truly think he is like the god Krishna with multiple arms, or at least the ability to be in two places at once.
So back to my emptying out my ostomy thinking just how AWESOME Pooky has been and what kind of wonderful Pooky he is. See, during my evil spells of vomitting up food, Pooky would be there, racing for the basin and then get me a tissue or towel to clean up my face. He'd patiently wait until everything came out and then he'd take the basin away and tend to it. You know someone really loves you when later on when it is time to leave and say good-night they still want to kiss you—the same mouth that just had a few hours earlier spewed god-only-knows-what. That is Love no matter how you look at it. And it says to me that Pooky really does know the depth of my soul.
That there are no words that could be spoken, only a kiss that could be given that says, "No matter what, I'll always want to kiss you good-night."
John, You'll Always Be My Pooky
kiss, kiss
First let me explain that the Food Network was replaced by The Newborn Channel on the hospital TV. Yes, it does seem confounded that I was barfing and unable to eat and that I watch the Food Network. Since this channel was unavailable to me I reconnected with my love of Little House on the Prairie. The Hallmark Channel broadcasts it 4 times a day.
My reacquaintenance with Michael Landon as Pa Ingalls and Melissa Gilbert as Laura got me thinking about my visit to three of the real Laura's homes in May of 2002. Afficianados of LIW know that the TV series took great poetic license with her life, but what is interesting to note is that Laura herself took poetic license with her own life. I didn't know this until visiting her actual domiciles and buying supplemental booklets about her real life. This explains why her books were considered historical fiction and not autobiographical.
Important realization: Mrs. Oleson is a bona fide Shrone.
I previously mentioned that at the hospital I could order food by phone and have it delivered within 30 minutes. This was rather *spoiling* to say the least. But something quirky came about. The doctor wanted me to supplement my eating with Ensure to make sure my calories were adequate. I didn't know this until I started receiving glasses of the stuff. At first they brought me strawberry flavor. YUCK! So I asked if I could get chocolate. Not a problem! I was told. For three days I still kept getting strawberry or vanilla until it was finally resolved. Note to the food industry: Please, don't make strawberry flavored anything.
When I felt like eating again I had a dire craving for a club sandwich.
Important information about myself that I learned: How to make Lori instantly vomit: Just add intravenous morphine!
When I was first admitted to the hospital the nurse said she'd get me some pain medicine. She brings in a syringe of morphine. I say I thought the doctor ordered Demerol because I can't do morphine and before I could say "stop" she had injected it into me. Within 10 seconds I was spewing. She then immediately went and called for a change in order for a different medicine. It was then that I was introduce to the bliss of hydromorphone (Dilaudid) which is like morphine without the barfing. This stuff is likened to heroin. Hmmm. No wonder it makes you feel so happy.
A peripheral IV in my left hand infiltrated and after it was pulled my hand turned purple-blue within 10 minutes. The hand was swollen to about 2-3 times its normal size. I was given an antibiotic since the hand became infected. I had no use of my hand or arm for about 3 days. As a result of the vascular damage to my hand and arm, I believe I will have permanent "spider veins" on my forearm and top of the hand. The bruising discoloration has healed.
The antibiotic they gave me caused me to develop a rash on my fingers that resembled "pickle skin". It was bumpy and itchy. It went away once the antibiotic was stopped.
My dearest friend Pibb called me one day to see how I was doing. She asked me if I named my IV pole. I said no, but I did refer to it as my dance partner. Because I was on TPN (total parenteral nutrition) I needed a special IV pump that could handle 3 lines of fluid. I had a special pole, too. I had Pooky take a picture of the set-up.
My sodium levels were low so the doctor told me to eat more salt and to salt my food. I said I already do that but that acquiring salt in the hospital was difficult. Salt acquisition became and ongoing struggle.
People always complimented me on the PJ's I wore. I have Pillsbury Doughboy, Trix Rabbit, Wienermobiles, Lucky Charms, and many more.
Not being able to crochet, I passed the time watching really weird movies on TV. I learned about what was happening in the world, that is received my daily news by watching Entertainment Tonight. I was not impressed with the engagement of Tom and Katie, nor am I whooping over the 24 karat diamond Paris got from Paris. Burning celebrity question. Since Paris and Paris are getting hitched will they name all of their children Paris, too? I think the two of them are only smart enough to know how to spell just one name, so the answer is yes.
When a baby is born in the hospital over the PA system the lullabye song plays. One morning when I heard it go off I thought: Why don't they play a dirge when someone dies? Yeah, I know we have this death-thing in our culture, but really. I like circle of life closure bit, and for me if we are going to bless someone coming into the world why not bless someone going out, too? I think I'll write my letter to the hospital board and see what they say...
In addition to having a need for a club sandwich, I really needed broccoli cheddar soup. I sent Pooky on a mission from God to find me a bowl of it. A decent cup of it can be found at Quiznos.
Last but not least I'd like to mention my roommates. My first roommate I fear may have passed on. She first came in with pneumonia, went home for 2 days and fell breaking her hip and wrist. While in the room with me she developed a bowel obstruction and they told her she needed emergency surgery and may not live. She was whisked away to the ICU.
My next roommate had a knee replacement and had 5-6 visitors at a time. She was cranky, but didn't watch much TV. The next roommate was very nice and quiet. The one after her was in briefly and was a bit loud, but only in the volume of how she talked. My last roommate was a bit fussy regarding her pain medication, but eventually calmed down. Overall I didn't have the roommate from hell.
And now for the pictures. Yes, I am showing my shame. I need a haircut and dye job and to gain back the 16 pounds I lost.
I CAN'T BELIEVE IT!
Let me type that again.
I CAN'T FREAKIN' BELIEVE IT!
I blame all of you who prayed, sacrificed small animals, did unknowable rituals, and kept me in your healing thoughts. Your valiant efforts paid off! You want to know what you did, you shameless kind-hearted souls? MY STOMA IS WORKING!
I repeat: THE STOMA IS WORKING. THE STOMA IS WORKING.
The darn thing is farting! LOUDLY! And it is spewing poo! It's like something out of the Exorcist! I mean it is projectile expelling poo! I haven't had to use the catheter in 4 hours! I'm watching it do it's thing and I feel like a proud mother cooing over her newborn.
It hurts a bit, but this is a good pain. I feel like eating and eating just to make sure it will continue to work. I feel surreal, like I'm in a dream and I'll wake up and find myself not in Kansas anymore, only I'll be in the Land of Shrones.
BLESSED BE! If this continues to work we all know what that means: NO SURGERY. I get to have a life again! I'm as giddy as Jimmy Stewart at the end of It's A Wonderful Life!!!
It's finally done! I started this doily before going into the hospital and it got put on hold until just a few days ago. I blocked it last night and today it was ready for photographing.
I'm still unhappy with my spirals, but I'm too lazy to starch them and get them to look like the pattern book. All that matters is that they look uniform (at least I think they look mostly uniform). Perfection will have to wait another day.
If anyone would like this doily, I'll send it to you. Seriously! I'm making these doilies to practice my spirals and I really don't care to keep it. If the color will match your home, I'd be happy to send it to you. The color is a nice ruby/claret. If there is more than one who'd like it, I guess I'll have to come up with a tie-breaker—don't worry, it will be easy!
I had seen on the local news that the Wienermobile had visited a nearby town in central Pennsylvania and I knew that if I was ever going to see this marvelous vehicle I had better see if I could locate its next stop! So I called the Oscar Meyer hotline after looking at their website and was happy to find out that I hadn't missed my chance to see the mobile in Philly!
For the Muslins there is the journey to Mecca. For Jews it is Israel to visit the sacred Holy lands. For me, it is the the Oscar Meyer Wienermobile. I felt like I was making a spiritual voyage to some awesome, divine, wonderful manifestation of the Creator. Seriously! The wienermobile invokes a very deep happiness within me, so much that when I see it and think about how exceptional it is, I usually get misty-eyed.
I see the Wienermobile as being a symbol of immense and great Divine Joy, like the Goddess is having a hearty laugh and is celebrating. I feel profound peace thinking about the Wienermobile for it soothes my inner turmoil by bringing forth comforting thoughts and feelings. It's not so much that I recall enjoying Oscar Meyer hot dogs, but how good it feels to be able to eat and have a full tummy and to digest without incident. It means being snug and safe, soft and at ease like a contented purring kitty. It means hugging my inner child and letting her feel the excitement of pure Joy that children know all so well but that we tend to forget as adults.
Can you believe I was 10 years old before I tasted an Oscar Meyer hot dog? My mom always bought Ball Parks and that was the only hot dog my family ate. Then one very special day my mom took me and my friend to a local amusement park and there was a concession stand that served Oscar Meyer hot dogs. I was immediately hooked and I think I ate 10 hot dogs that day! After that day Ball Park dogs weren't bought again for many years.
I take my Oscar Meyer dog plain. The meat has so much flavor it doesn't need anything else. Sometimes I may eat it with a little onion, but usually I just eat it tucked in a bun.
