I'm 15% Less of a Person

Last night I felt strong enough to take a shower. It had been since Tuesday that I had the ambition to get cleaned. I had a good look in the mirror at myself. I look shot to hell, don't I? Eyes sunken in and discolored. My arms show the casulties of IV's gone bad or blown when attempted to be started. The worst is the lumpy bruise on my left arm. The knot is hard and the skin scabbed over a few days after the catheter was removed. I've never have had an IV scab over like that. I am keeping watch on the lump making sure it doesn't spread, but it doesn't hurt and it is just a hard lump.

I calculated that I've lost 15% of my pre-operative weight. The last time I weighed 115 pounds I was 16 years old or so. Let's just say my body looks like a deflated balloon. I asked Pooky if the weight loss shows. He says my legs show it the most, in the calves. I feel like a withered Mr. Burns and Pooky has become my Smithers.

I won't be on the prednisone long enough for it to work its magic of rapid weight gain, and my appetite is suppressed thanks to the variety of pharmaceuticals I am taking. Losing 20 pounds over 9 weeks is not what I had in mind. I have no idea how quickly I can recover from the loss. If my stomach continues to be happy I am sure in three months or so I can be back to my starting weight.

The surgeon said I should expect "surprises and changes and many adaptations" of my stoma and gut functioning for the next 6 months. Just in time for the holidays I should be "normal" again. I can eat just about anything at the moment, and know better to avoid raw fruits and veggies and limit the amount of cooked veggies. I am not foolish enough to eat popcorn, but it doesn't even sound good to eat, and right now I'm eating what sounds good.

It's somewhat true that your body craves what it needs. I am potassium deficient and I've been craving fresh orange juice like I'm a sailor with scurvy. Turns out orange juice is loaded with potassium. I also am thirsty for good tasting water and our tap water tastes funny to me, so I'm either going to have to invest in one of those cheap filters or get some bottled water. I've lost my taste for iced tea as it doesn't taste right anymore.

Being that I've been wearing only sweat pants and pj bottoms I have no idea how regular jeans will fit me. That should prove to be interesting when I get around to trying to dress normal. I've had no motivation to do so because the only places I've gone to are the hospital, the doctor's office, the ER, or Wal-Mart, and if you go to Wal-Mart wearing your pj's, no one really notices.