What We'll Wear At Our First Convention

The question that begs to be answered is: What would Shrones wear to a convention? The answer is, of course, crocheted clothing! Naturally Shrones are drawn toward the flamboyant and gaudy styles that contain the essence of sophisticaion and style.

"People aren't wearing enough hats." This is true. Back in the day people always wore a hat. The eccentric wore turbans. As stated before, any woman wearing a turban who isn't undergoing chemotherapy treatment is automatically a Shrone. Here are two crochted turbans for Shrones to pick from:

Crocheting Shrones will be pleased to make their own turban using this vintage pattern. The turban allows for a Shrone to hide unruly hair or to compliment long tresses. Plus you can hide an assortment of contraband inside of this bulky head piece. People will stop and stare and find themselves at a loss for words to express their awe and wonder at the handmade garment atop your head.

People may mistake you for a movie star and want your autograph as these stylish turbans radiate a sense of charm and enchantment!

Imagine these turbans crocheted in vivid colors or sparkling jewel tones!

The smiling gal made her turban using this vintage pattern. She is so happy to stand out in the crowd looking a bit like a bunny rabbit who stumbled upon a patch of cannabis sativa.

I can't guarantee you'll be as giddy as the gal modeling the turban, but perhaps if you don your turban while cruising for penis and you get lucky, you may find yourself with a similar goofy grin.

The other alternative to cruising for penis is to make a cherry jubilee cheesecake with the cherries soaked for four hours in cherry brandy and to take a few nips of the sauce to make sure the cherries are becoming tipsy.

Also, a couple of Valium will render the same effect. Note: You won't be able to smile like this if you opt for Bo-Tox injections.

If you can't bring yourself to wear a turban there is a conversation piece vintage hat pattern that will surely make people stop and ask, "What's that on your head?" If such inquiries occur I recommend informing them of the Hall of Shrones and throwing a few insults there way as to why they wear bland, unremarkable clothing.

I'm not quite sure what is embellishing this hat. It looks like a curtain tie-back, but perhaps this Shrone is a closet dominatrix and it is her small whip?

Naturally you don't have to adorn your version of this hat with an unidentifiable tassle. I'd suggest making bright, semi-obnoxious flowers, or go all out and use silver or gold lamé to create something spectacular!

But if turbans and unidentified hats aren't your fancy and you require embellishments that are of a flamboyant nature, this patriotic vintage hat is just the ticket! There are oodles of potential for this hat to be transformed into something resembling a wizards hat. I'm thinking silver lamé stars and the addition of half-moons!

If you go the patriotic route, vivid colors would be best to show off your Shronedom.

Now that we have it figured out how we'll cover our heads, patterns for the rest of our bodies need to be found. I'm sure I'll find something outrageous—it's just a matter of time!