Press the Reset Button, Please

I'm still in a tizzy about the meeting I had with my professor. I will be in an even worse one come tomorrow if I find out I'm not allowed into Winter track.

I arrive 15 minutes late because morning traffic was awful. What else is new? Pooky called to say I was running late. When I get there, she starts off with reading to me a statement written by my main instructor for the year (who wasn't at this meeting). The instructor had written that I received a PC for my self-assessment from Module 5, missed half of Module 6, and all of Module 7.

My jaw dropped to the floor. When I was able to scoop it up, I said: That is totally wrong! I received an AC for my assessment, was present for the ENTIRETY of Module 6, and yes, I did miss Module 7, but I attended the final session of I-Group and the closing ceremonies in order to say good-bye to my classmates for the summer.

The professor didn't believe me! She had to then request a copy of my transcript from the program secretary before she would accept my word as having more validity than my instructor's. And even after she saw that I hadn't lied, that I did in fact receive an AC for self-assessment, and that I had done so for all of my other courses, save but the missed ones, she still treated me like I was not to be believed!

She kept pushing that I take the year off and return next fall. And that I could attend I-Group meetings with this year's first years so I can become part of their community. I said I can't do that due to financial constraints. No way will I drive for 90 minutes each way twice a week for an I-Group sessions that last 3hrs and 90 minutes respectively. My lost time and gas isn't worth it.

Then the professor said that they were concerned that this past year I didn't get the fullest experience out of the program because of my health problems. I asked her what exactly did she mean? I received AC's in all of my papers and courses, that I had "pinches" and "crunches" with fellow classmates that I attended resolution sessions with, and that I met one of my most important goals this summer by reconnecting with my estanged family—what more could they possibly want? Her reply was that I didn't actively participate in class! I said that just because I wasn't one of the people who talked continuously and didn't know when to shut-up doesn't mean I didn't participate in class!

While I do indentify myself as an introvert/non-talker, I do speak my mind and I do participate when I see it has merit and benefit. I don't go dancing out into the spotlight simply to seek attention.

My blood was boiling mad! For them to say my health issues were preventing me from getting a full experience is ludicrous! I explained to her that their theory holds no water because all I've done is exchanged on set of health problems for another, and in the process all that I lost was my constant pain. The ileostomy itself comes with its own set of health issues that they could claim would keep me from fully experiencing the program.

And if they meant that I didn't participate in extra-curricular activities, I said while at module I often spent time with my classmates while at the hotel, but that I've made numerous attempts to connect with my classmates outside of module by extending invitations for them to come down to my residence, only for those invitations to be dismissed because no one wanted to drive down to Centralia because of the awful traffic, and so I was excluded from the Seattle area clique. As for the Olympia area clique and why I wasn't allowed into that, I said I didn't know why.

Finally the professor admitted that since I had received my AC's and had only missed the one module that they no longer really had any reason to keep me from switching to Winter, but rather that the capacity for it might already be full! So they would have to talk with the lead faculty of that program to find out if there was enough room for me.

All I can think is, if that one instructor hadn't misrepresented (or should I say lie!) about my grades and the number of missed modules that much sooner I could have been switched to Winter! I think that no one wanted to deal with me because her misrepresentation of me painted me out to be a "bad" student not worth investing in and therefore, why bother to help me move ahead in the program?

Trust me, I saw this instructor already and I asked her when I could have a conversation with her to find out why she wrote those things about me without verifying the truth of them! She has acted very unprofessionally as far as I'm concerned.

Never in my undergraduate career did a professor say "boo" about me without having my transcript sitting before them. They made damn sure they knew what my grades were.

I think the reason they can get away with this shit is because the disabilities department at Bastyr is non-existant. I've been told the department has very little power, and naturally sides with the faculty and staff.

Not so at my undergraduate school. Professors bent over backwards to make sure they assisted students with disabilities so that they could succeed. This school, though it trains future therapits, counselors, and naturopathic physicians, only wants healthy, perfect people to graduate from its hallowed halls of higher academic learning.

I can hardly wait to hear what reasons my instructor is going to give me as to why she didn't bother to verify my grades or my absences, and to see how she is going to talk her way out of the damage she has done to my reputation. I'd like to know specifically what it is that I did that caused her to think of me as a "PC" student instead of an "AC" student.

Excuse me why I go rip the heads off of my stuffed animals so I can get this extreme pissed-off feeling out of my system!