13 Favorite Murphy's Laws

I was young an impressionable in the 80s when the Murphy's Law craze came. As I got older more of the laws made sense to me. Here are 13 of my favorites.

1. Cole's Law: Thinly sliced cabbage.
   
2. The Golden Rule of Arts and Sciences: Whoever has the gold makes the rules.
   
3. First Law of Debate: Never argue with a fool—people might not know the difference.
   
4. Whatever hits the fan will not be evenly distributed.
   
5. The Aquinas Axiom: What the gods get away with, the cows don't.
   
6. If you are given an open-book exam, you will forget your book.
   Corollary: If you are given a take home exam, you will forget where you live.
   
7. Ginsberg's Theorem:
   1. You can't win.
   2. You can't break even.
   3. You can't even quit the game.
   
8. Paul's Law: You can't fall off the floor.
   
9. Zymurgy's Law of Volunteer Labor: People are always available for work in the past tense.
   
10. Segal's Law: A man with one watch knows what time it is.
    A man with two watches is never sure.
    
11. First Law of Socio-Genetics: Celibacy is not hereditary.
    
12. Steele's Plagiarism of Somebody's Philosophy: Everybody should believe in something—I believe I'll have another drink.
    
13. The Fifth Rule: You have taken yourself too seriously.