Therapist Etiquette

Recently KnicKnac asked me some questions that I think would be a good post topic so I shall answer those questions now. She wanted to know how do I keep from laughing out loud, or from slapping someone to their senses?

I should explain that in my graduate program we are trained to be authentic and genuine, which means if we feel an emotion like laughter we shouldn't stiffle it unless it would be non-therapeutic or inappropriate. Now, in working with kids they love to put on performances, show-off, be silly, act goofy, etc. Indeed, I do smile, smirk, laugh, and chuckle at my clients' cute antics. If I were to be stiff as a board they would sense that and pick up on the fact that I am holding back. It's good for me to be natural as possible and not to be a sour-puss.

One way to engage people/kids is through humor, so I try to use it to help lighten the mood. Laughter is also a good way to ease tension, anger, and is "therapeutic".

There are some situations that come to mind that would reflect on the "art" of therapy. Example is a client shares a really emotionally intense experience that normally humor wouldn't be apropos. Yet, for someone reason something tickle's my funny bone. I have to decide whether or not sharing my humor would benefit the client—be a therapeutic intervention.

As for wanting to slap a client to get them to come to their senses—I'm sure that feeling will well up inside of me. In that instance if I was sensing that I was feeling that way I would share with my client not that I felt like slapping them silly, but rather I'd express it as, "I'm feeling some frustration about _____ and I'm curious/wondering if you might feel frustrated about _____ as well?" Then I'd de-brief with my supervisor or colleague and share with them that I feel like slapping the client silly, because it would mean that I am triggered by something and need to talk it out so I don't transfer onto my client my issues that I have.

The closest I've come to feeling like wanting to slap someone silly was the parent of a client I had. I was peeved by some feedback about that case, and I worked out what was really angering me about that parent. My anger stemmed from my own FOO issues that I have with my mom. If I had continued to work with this client that would have been a challenge I would have had to deal with.