Two Months of Internship; 4 Client Contact Hours & Counting

Yesterday I had a good supervision session with my supervisor. I have two clients now who seem motivated to return to sessions, which means I can start practicing my skills and natural talents of being a therapist.

One thing I learned is that I am too quick to find a solution or pose solutions without first doing the groundwork for clearly defining the problem. I only think and assume I know what is really the problem and I need to improve on my interviewing skills to make sure that the client is explicit about what is the problem they want solved. I need to slow down and not try to give the solution or possible solutions within the first meeting.

Next, I learned that it is an asset and a strength if a child can form relationships with adults easily and freely, and that I don't always need to see a particular behavior in order to treat that behavior. I should also be more cautious about allowing certain behaviors to play out in a session because some can escalate and get out of hand. I must remember I am the director and in charge of the session.

I think I am slowly becoming aware that I need to ask what I consider to be second level questions that go a little deeper or peel back the next layer of the onion. My thinking is stuck pretty much in the superficial realm of what is readily apparent and obvious.

One thing I am trying to answer within myself is why I feel hesitant and reluctant to probe deeper and ask those second, third, and fourth level questions? I know somewhere in my "growing up" that my natural inclination to probe and go deeper was purposefully shut off by myself—and I think I shut off this natural probing because of negative reactions and responses I'd receive from people.

In order to socially get a long better I learned to ditch my way of being for a more superficial, non-information seeking way of being with other people. I became deliberately more reserved in order to be liked and make friends. People don't like someone jumping into the deeper levels and prefer superficial interactions, so I complied with this observation of mine. I don't think I've lost my ability to be "deep and serious"—I've just missed placed it somewhere. (It's probably hiding under the bed.)

My supervisor assures me that my role as a therapist is to be "professionally nosy" and to ask questions that I normally wouldn't ask in conversation (which once upon a time I would ask and it would get me into "trouble"). I've also got to work on asking my questions in a non-judgmental type of way, and for me the phrasing is also a very hard part because I know that I have a way of asking questions in such a way that I sound judgmental or perturbed—and I am, but not in a way that is judging the person. What I am dealing with internally is a sense of wanting to understand better, but I am confused or something isn't clicking in my head, so I get perturbed and frustrated. I then come across as sounding annoyed and rude.

The good news is that I have completed 4 out of my 150 client contact hours! Today I see my two clients again so that should bump me up to 6 hours total. I'm sure in a month or so that my case load will increase and I'll be getting in more hours.

There's quite a bit to think about when having a session, and one of the processes of being a good therapist is making mistakes. Mistakes become things you talk about with clients and it's a constant correcting course and making repairs along the way. Sometimes I may do things right or do them well, which hopefully happens often enough to help my client.

One thing I am proud of with my last two sessions is that with both I was able to crack a few jokes and connect with both with humor. That is one of my strengths in my ability to connect with people, but it can also fall flat since my humor is often off beat. I am looking forward to today's sessions. Through one hour at a time, I will become a therapist.