January 2007 Archives
As of yesterday night I have accumulated 104 internship hours! And I now have 20 client contact hours! I still have 130 client count hours to go and 546 total hours to go, but I'm making measurable progress! At this rate my internship will take me 30 months, and the longest I can go is 24, so I'd better step up my efforts and get more clients! I've let my supervisor know I am seeking more clients, and I think he knows that I am needing more.
Will have to remind him of this.
Also found out that one of my fellow interns, Stan, will be taking a long hiatus to perform work in his "other non-therapist life" in April and will return in November. I will miss our situational friendship because, along with Beth, we have a lot of stress-relieving fun. Before I started my internship I thought of all of the people I'd meet who'd help me become a therapist—and I thought only of my future clients. Never did I think that two fellow interns would come into my life and make a world of difference! The three of us provide mutual comic relief, help each other in a variety of ways, and make the internship experience a lot more tolerable.
Big day today as I'm booked the afternoon with clients! Hopefully I can get all of my internship days scheduled like today very soon!
I've been working on giving a presentation and discussion at Module 4 about living with an ostomy and having ulcerative colitis. I figured that my classmates, soon to be future marriage and family therapists, would find candid talk about having an ostomy very valuable. Here's the flyer that I created for my presentation/discussion:
View the flyer.
In my basic research for my discussion I learned that the ostomy manufacturers in the United States provide very little "quality of life" information on their sites. What I find particular intriguing is how the Hollister UK site offered candid Love and Sex information. Their information address homosexuality, as well as the potential for erectile dysfunction. These topics are very taboo and I applaud the UK site for "letting it out of the bag" that there are more considerations to living with an ostomy than embarrassing leaks in public!
I also found out that there is an annual award given to an ostomate or person with CD or UC called The Great Comebacks Award. The application is pretty length: they want specific information, and reasons why the nominee qualifies for the award. I'll put completing the nominee application on my list of things to do along with everything else.
Last night I was devoting some time to the topic of my mother as I tried to fall asleep. I haven't spoken to her since last April. She hasn't attempted to contact me, either. It wasn't that there was a major event that led to the non-communication, unless I consider all of the year since my birth culminating into a major event. I have grown tired of her behavior and even though I strongly suspect she has borderline personality disorder, I have still grown tired of her behavior and having to deal with her.
Yet, I know that eventually I will have to deal with her. I do want to deal with her. I want to say something to her, only when I try to "get clear" on what I want to say there's a flood gate that opens and I could keep saying to her for quite a long time.
There is one issue I keep returning to. When I was dealing with the complications from my surgery in 2005 I had a conversation with her in which she told me that she "wouldn't lose her house" to assist me in any way. She had informed me of this before when I was a teenager and dealing with my illness troubles back then.
I estimate that if she sold her house she could get $250,000 for it. She might even be able to eke out $275,000, but only if she invested in taking care of some of the problems the house has. Be that as it may, what this tells me is she considers me to be worth under $250,000.
Well, this got me to thinking. Just how much have I cost in medical expenses during my lifetime? Obviously to keep me alive there has been a lot of money spent to provide me with surgeries, medical supplies, hospitalizations, etc. I tried to figure out how much it has all added up to be over the years.
My best estimate is that some where in the neighborhood of $1 million dollars has been spent to keep me alive. My estimate is based only upon hospitalizations and major medical procedures and known amounts for prescriptions. I made my best guesses for operations and additional minor procedures. Even if I am not very close to the actual amount, the reality is: It has cost a sizable chunk of money to keep me functional and alive.
In realizing how my medical care over the years equates into "real dollars" I feel a bit special—that I am worth at least 4 of my mother's homes. I say this all tongue-in-cheek because we all know that the real value of someone's life is like the ending of those MasterCard commercials: priceless. And that's the point my mother doesn't get in all of this.
What I've tried to do is reframe the issue and put a different perspective on how to look at the situation. How do I convey to someone like her the impact she has had on my life, when she is the type of person who is oblivious to how she impacts another person? What frustrates and saddens me is that I do not know how to communicate to her all that I think and feel so that she will hear me.
Bottom line also for me is: She is not someone that I would consider being friends with. If I had no biological relationship to her she would not be someone I would be friends with. Though we share commonalities, I doubt we'd ever discover what they are because how she shows up and presents herself is not what attracts or interests me in wanting to get to know another person. And yet I know I cannot escape her because I carry within me part of her genes.
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Earlier this week I found a Medical Family Therapy (MedFT) doctoral program offered at East Carlina University. I want to become one of the luck 10 who are accepted into the program! I'll need to do a few things before I can submit a complete application.
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The purpose of the meme is to get to know everyone who participates a little bit better every Thursday. Visiting fellow Thirteeners is encouraged! If you participate, leave the link to your Thirteen in others comments. It’s easy, and fun! Be sure to update your Thirteen with links that are left for you, as well! I will link to everyone who participates and leaves a link to their 13 things. Trackbacks, pings, comment links accepted!
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This meme was swiped from beloved Lady Linoleum!
THE RULES: Each player of this game starts with the 6 weird things about you. People who get tagged need to write a blog of their own 6 weird things as well as state this rule clearly. In the end, you need to choose 6 people to be tagged and list their names. Don't forget to leave a comment that says you are tagged in their comments and tell them to read your blog.
1. I make up and sing songs to my cats. I will not sing any other time under any other circumstances. Each cat has their own tune and theme song.
2. When making a recipe I seldom follow it exactly. I make alterations or substitutions all the time. I only use measuring spoons or cups if I am baking. Otherwise I make best guesses on seasonings.
3. I make lists, too, but I'll still forget one or two things on the list! Pooky wonders why I bother with a list and my answer is: then I wouldn't remember anything!
4. When I get a craving for a particular food, I have to have that exact food. Which means if I crave a McDonald's cheeseburger it can't be a cheeseburger from Wendy's. My tastebuds are very specific, exact, and demanding!
5. If I sweat when I'm nervous it smells like skunk. I hope that having skunk sweat is normal and doesn't mean I have a medical problem.
6. I don't like talking or conducting business over the phone. I love caller ID and will purposefully not answer the phone. It annoys me when people won't leave a voice message. I'd much rather be contacted by e-mail.
I'm tagging the following 6 "weird" people:
While I won't be graduating with my MA until December 2007, I've already started thinking about "what happens next?" once I graduate. Prior to starting my degree I learned about Medical Family Therapy and held in the back of my mind the idea of seeking credentials in this area of specialization for Marriage & Family Therapy. I know that SPU in Seattle offers a two year certification program that would require a one-year internship. After reviewing the program I realized that it wouldn't make a lot of sense to invest money and time for an additional two years to only get certification.
So I've been searching for other MedFT programs and today I found a doctoral program at East Carolina University in Greenville, North Carolina. It's a new program, started in 2005. It's a three year program and does require an internship. According to the information I've been able to read on the website, it looks like they have internship placements. That would be a relief. They also offer scholarships and have information regarding graduate assistantships. The assistantship would mean I'd have to do student teaching or some kind of work in the department while working on my degree.
Yet, if I had to pay for tuition the cost isn't too bad. I'm sure that there would be a way to get most, if not all, of my tuition covered.The program requires I take the GRE. I need to get a combined score of 1450 or better. I think I can do that. I'll need to brush up on my math and attempt to recall algebra. (ugh!) I will need to submit a sample of my professional writing. I'm sure they are wanting to see all of the journal articles I've published. But they will accept a thesis if available, and if not that, then a written statement of why I want a PhD in MedFT.
They only accept about 10 people a year into the program. Did I mention they take only about 7 full-time students and 3 part-time? I wonder how many applications they receive. The soonest I could matriculate into the program would be 2008 if I calculate it correctly. Granted I'm one of those lucky 10 people.
Now I've been thinking if going into a doctoral program ASAP is better than waiting. Waiting for what? I was thinking I'd get into working, get myself out and about in the real world of being a therapist. I suppose I could do that part-time at an agency. I know that we have a doctoral student who volunteers at my agency while she is working on her degree. Why can't I do that and everything else?
A bonus would be is that my student loans would go into deferment while I'm in the program. It would suck if I had to take out more loans. Then there is the moving to Greenville area, but the bonus is that I have my brother and his family nearby.
Pooky has said to start the ball rolling, of prepping for the GRE exam and see how that goes. One thing at a time. Meanwhile, I'll start putting out feelers with some of my professors at school. There's only one PhD on staff. He just so happens to be my Pro-Sem leader. I'll have to pick his brain. See if he can offer some guidance in what I need to do to apply for and get accepted to a PhD program.
What is a real hoot is I was looking at ECU's other doctoral programs. If I don't get accepted into their MedFT program, I could realistically apply for the following programs:
- Anatomy and Cell Biology
- Biochemistry and Molecular Biology
- Biological Sciences
- Microbiology and Immunology
- Rehabilitation Counseling and Administration
I'm not eligible to apply for the PhD in Physiology because I lack calculus and physical chemistry. I think it's weird that I could go into these biology-based programs. I've put out of my mind my undergraduate days of biology. I have to remind myself that I have one year of graduate studies in biology, too. Heck, I was in the naturopathic physician's program for one quarter which is "double" medical school.
What kind of career would I have with a PhD in MedFT? Well, I know I'd be the director or head of "whatever" because the program says it will train me to be in the role of administrator of a clinic. Which means I'd get paid better than just having an MA. It looks like on average that having a PhD will mean I earn at least $15,000 more per year than just having an MA. That's comparing the maximum someone with an MA could expect to earn compared to the least someone with a PhD could expect to earn. Best case scenario is that having a PhD would earn me double than just having an MA.
Extra bonuses about Greenville, NC. It has a Fuddrucker's and Cracker Barrel!
I still have to brew this over in my mind, talk to more people, see what all unfurls regarding this.
Today we made our semi-annual trip to Powell's Books in Portland to buy, buy, buy, buy all sorts of books. I was able to find a nice assortment of books I hope will be useful at my internship. I actually bought a Dr. Phil book because I liked the activities it had inside of it. I got a lot of workbooks with the intention of making photocopies and have clients do the "assignment".
I spent a lot of time in the General Parenting section and little time in the Psychology section because I've found that parenting books are better for addressing specific behavioral issues and then providing a realistic set of actions to take regarding that behavior. The professional books are all theory based and don't provide a "how-to" approach to dealing with the behavior.
I also found two really cool books regarding ADD and I plan to use the books to provide the ubiquitous "psychoeducation" to kids and teens regarding the condition. It looks like both books offer ways to cope with the condition and gives practical strategies to manage it.
I'm quickly learning that my job as "therapist" in many ways is also teacher because I often am teaching social skills, communication skills, coping skills, and so on, and then also teaching what is typical and normal behavior, explaining what causes certain behaviors, etc.
Interesting note: conflict resolution is found in the teaching section and there are books addressing how to teach this to children in the classroom, but I couldn't find any books in the child psychology section. There may be a gap in the literature available and that would mean that I could write a book! I'm always looking for the book-writing angle because I think that's how a therapist will ever make money appropriate for the amount spent on getting the degree.
What's freaky about all of the book-buying today is that I went with my book wishlist and only got one or two off the list of 88! Which means that I'll still eventually buy more books. I am growing a libray one book at a time.
Swiped from Patent Princess
Three Names You Go By:
1. Lori
2. Lori M. Carlson
3. Lori M. Carlson, B.S.
Three Screen Names You’ve Had
1. homeburrough
2. the_apiary
3. pip_urchin
Three Physical Things You Like About Yourself
1. My stoma
2. My hands
3. My feet
Three Physical Things You Don’t Like About Yourself
1. My nose
2. My chin
3. My ears
Three Parts of Your Heritage
1. Mostly Germanic
2. Maybe some rogue Jewish blood
3. Just enough crazy Swede to make me interesting
Three Things That Scare You
1. A world without salt
2. Religious fundamentalism
3. Becoming allergic to cats
Three of Your Everyday Essentials
1. Smee love
2. Cream Earl Grey tea
3. Toilet paper
Three Things You Are Wearing Right Now
1. PJ bottoms
2. Black socks
3. Old faded shirt
Three of Your Favorite Bands or Musical Artists
1. Cocteau Twins
2. k.d. lang
3. The Smiths
Three of Your Favorite Songs (by above artists respectively)
1. I'll
2. skip this
3. one
Three Things You Want in a Relationship
1. No bad smells
2. Silliness
3. A high tolerance for cats
Two Truths and a Lie (in no particular order- put your guess as to which is the lie in comments!)
1. I once streaked in high school on a dare.
2. My favorite ice cream flavor is licorice.
3. The most I've ever weighed is 185 pounds.
Three Physical Things about the Preferred Sex Which Appeal to You
1. Voice
2. Groomed facial hair
3. The snake
Three of Your Favorite Hobbies
1. Cooking
2. Crocheting
3. Photography
Three Things You Want to Do Really Badly Right Now
1. Go where it's warm and sunny
2. Get my feet warm
3. Sleep
Three Careers You’ve Considered
1. Physician
2. B&B owner
3. Dedicated feline maintenance worker
Three Places You Want to Go On Vacation
1. Shrone, Ireland
2. Grand Canyon
3. Germany
Three Kids’ Names You Like
1. I'll skip this
2. one
3. as well
Three Things You Want to do Before You Die
1. Be a contestant on Jeopardy!
2. Write a book
3. Have a lot more sex
Three Ways That You Are Stereotypically a Boy
1. I've always had short hair
2. I seldom wear dresses or skirts
3. I don't like women's shoes
Three Ways That You Are Stereotypically a Girl
1. I wear make-up
2. I hate body smells
3. I love Victorian things
Three Celeb Crushes
1. Kermit the Frog
2. Baby Stewie
3. Ren Hoek
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Last week I was laying on the couch knocked out by the stomach flu. Here are 13 things about having a stomach flu.
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The purpose of the meme is to get to know everyone who participates a little bit better every Thursday. Visiting fellow Thirteeners is encouraged! If you participate, leave the link to your Thirteen in others comments. It’s easy, and fun! Be sure to update your Thirteen with links that are left for you, as well! I will link to everyone who participates and leaves a link to their 13 things. Trackbacks, pings, comment links accepted!
View More Thursday Thirteen Participants
The physician's residence and office in Old Salem was my favorite in that there was an impressive display of antique medical equipment. Let's have a little fun and see if you can identify what the equipment was used for!
Guess That Medical Equipment!
1.
2. 
3. 
4. 
Winter Blues Part
I took a snow day today. This has been a weird winter for weather and it just so happens to be this winter I have become a commuter. As much as I like the idea of having a snow day, my level of motivation to actually do school assignments or work on what to do with my clients is very low. When it gets cold I hibernate. I believe it has something do with not being able to feel my toes and feet properly.Or, perhaps the snow falling is part of Smee's continued master plan to keep me home. He has been by my side as I sit upon the couch. He sleeps the dreams of the blessed.
I've been a sucky Big Sister. But today I sent her a notecard with some stickers and then by coincidence the BB/BS coordinator called me to find out what was up for me. Then my Little called me awhile later and we scheduled a date for Sunday. We'll go paint a piece of pottery together and have lunch. She likes eating at Dairy Queen—more specifically, she likes eating ice cream at Dairy Queen.
Is it spring yet? I need it to be warmer very soon with less sickness floating around. I've got anxiety that sickness is still out in the world and it's got my name on it. I know I need to think more positively. Take more vitamins. Each healthier meals.
Now for the Gyoza Part
I have a secret shame. I'm addicted to eating teriyaki, specifically gyoza (fried wantons). I think I'm going to have to start making them at home. I've been eating teriyaki one to two times a week, sometimes even more depending on how easily I can get to more teriyaki.There's an Asian market on my way to my internship. I'll have to stop by and pick up the gyoza wrappers and the appropriate seasonings like ginger and teriyaki sauce. I wonder if they sell the beef for teriyaki already cut? The one thing I hate most about cooking is having to slice and dice.
Vials of Astrovirus
Pooky and I are back to normal health after last week's bout with the stomach flu. I developed a theory about how we contracted the suspected astrovirus: Smee. What makes me think this is that during my prolonged napping periods, Smee would be all over me and he enjoyed our presence at home. I believe Smee acquired vials of the virus from a local research lab and laced our food.
Considering that I had been away visiting my brother, then away at Module, Smee was in a serious depletition of love, worship, petting, and basic feline maintenance. The only way he could have me to himself was to make me ill.
I do not doubt Smee's motives. He was incredibly happy to have me here, even if all I did was provide a body for him to sleep upon.
Tuesday night as I drove home from my internship I became very sick. Had to pull off the interstate and didn't make it to a real bathroom before hucking my guts onto some gravel in a dark parking lot. I called Pooky asking him to come get me—I was close to my sister's apartment complex so I managed to drive to the parking lot there and I waited for Pooky's rescue.
By the time we got home I was in full-blown mode of "skookumchucking". After staying awake until 4 am, I said I needed to go to the hospital for IV fluids or else I'd dehydrate. I was having severe muscle cramps in m calves. The kind of muscle cramps that are beyond charlie horses—I'd like to call them charlie clydesdales.
So not wanting to take me to the local hospital where they adeptly collapsed my lung, we drove down to Longview (45 minute drive turned longer because the weather forecast for snow did come true) where I was re-dydrated and given some meds to stop the vomitting.
Wednesday was lost to sleep. Thursday was lost to watching On-Demand Movies with Pooky staying home to make sure I ate something and got fluids since my ability to walk has declined thanks to my muscles being shredded and over all fatigue.
I awoke today feeling a little more human, able to eat small portions of food, but then Pooky announces that he is feeling sick only no vomitting just the runs. So he came home after a half-day of work and crawled into bed where he's been now for almost 4 hours.
The ER doctor said the stomach flu has been making its rounds. I wish they could vaccinate against that as I would much rather battle the regular flu, but then I have no idea what I am talking about. All I know is that it sucks big time to lose 7 pounds due to having every ounce of fluid in my body expelled unnaturally.
Best to wash your hands after reading this entry. For all I know somehow the germs for the stomach flu have found a way to transmit themselves through blogs.
50 Books
When I took up the 50 Book Challenge for 2006 I had my doubts about my ability read that many books in one year. That would mean averaging about one per week. Somehow, I did it! Between my Borders Reward card and Paperbookswap.com, I gathered enough reading material.2007 Challenge
For the upcoming year, Pooky is joining me in the quest to read 50 books. He's already ahead of me with 5 books read. I've yet to start a new book. I want to this year read at least 50% school-related books, which won't be hard to do since I have an almost endless list of therapy books and it keeps growing with each new case that I am assigned.
The second historical site that I visited with my brother and his family is Old Salem. The historical site is about four to five blocks of the original Salem settlement with restored buildings from the 1770s. The Moravians were the founders of the settlement and their history and baked goods are predominantly featured throughout the village.
In many of the buildings, historical re-enactors are present to give a verbal history of the house and if applicable demonstrate the trades that would have been conducted in the house by the original settlers.
The village had many gift shops, the most popular being the bakery. There people could buy Moravian cookies, sugar cakes, pound cakes, and more.
We had lunch at the Old Salem Tavern. In the old days the tavern served as a place for travellers to stay, and history shows that George Washington spent the night in the tavern on his journey to wherever. I tried two of the specialities on the menu: onion soup and the chicken pie (a Moravian recipe).
I really enjoyed seeing another historical site pertaining to the Moravians. In Pennsylvanian, the old section of Bethlehem there was Moravian College and the original buildings from the 1700s are still standing. I still don't know who the Moravians are insofar as a religious group, and I think they are also an ethnic group. I should have bought that book that explained who they are, but I opted to buy a cookbook of Moravian recipes instead.
Today during lecture I learned a very important piece of information from an eight year old: "Pay attention to when cats are coughing." And why should we pay attention? Because if we don't bad things happen after a cat coughs. It made me think of Mr. B and Theodore Montague, the two who with great skill manage to yak in the most inconvenient of places.
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I'm back from my visit to North Carolina and had a great time visiting with my brother's family. As time permits, I'll be posting of our adventures. Meanwhile, as I sit in class at Module 3, listening to a lecture on Bowen Family theory and the concept of differentiation, I thought I'd type up my Thursday 13. This edition will be my resolutions for 2007. I think of a resolution as being the projects, goals, and tasks I would like to accomplish this year.
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The purpose of the meme is to get to know everyone who participates a little bit better every Thursday. Visiting fellow Thirteeners is encouraged! If you participate, leave the link to your Thirteen in others comments. It’s easy, and fun! Be sure to update your Thirteen with links that are left for you, as well! I will link to everyone who participates and leaves a link to their 13 things. Trackbacks, pings, comment links accepted!
View More Thursday Thirteen Participants
Once I got settled into visiting with my brother (we're pictured here together in case the family resemblence isn't obvious) we planned a couple of trips to experience the local history of North Carolina. I selected visiting the Duke Homestead and Tobacco Museum because I thought tobacco was a unique quality of North Carolina. Plus the location was close to Pinehurst.
We made our journey to the homestead in the mid-afternoon, just in time to catch the last guided tour of the day. We drove through the city of Chapel Hill and saw the university, which made me think of Noricum.
The museum center housed old tobacco machinery and contained frightening mannequins. The homestead consisted of an old barn where the tobacco was dried and cured, a building where it was processed, and then the Duke family home. I learned that the Duke family left a large endowment which now funds Duke University, among other things.
We ended the day by having dinner at the nearest Fuddrucker's. According to my beliefs a perfect burger should be cooked to medium-rare or less. Any doneness above medium-rare is getting into trouble. I was informed while ordering my burger that "medium" was the lowest they could prepare as dictated by North Carolina state law. I was hoping that the cook would go easy on my patty and it was not as dry as I feared.
Some Pictures
The homestead had a resident cat named Biscuit who slinked around and was very friendly. I took a picture of the oil lamp because of the doily underneath it. The creepy lady mannequin at the cigarette machine looks like a nasty lunch lady.
