13 Experiences While Having the Stomach Flu

Last week I was laying on the couch knocked out by the stomach flu. Here are 13 things about having a stomach flu.

1. It's a real fast way to lose 7 pounds in about 24 hours or less.
2. Having one of the ER nurses recognize me from about 18 months ago from my ileostomy surgery. She was happy to see me again—at least I think she was.
3. My working theory is that Smee gave me the flu so I'd stay home so he could sleep on me. He was abetted by Slinky and Ming who also slept on me.
4. Missing time due to excessive sleeping.
5. The taste of Gatorade.
6. Keeping meatloaf and cole slaw off my menu for awhile. These were the last items I ate before the vomitting began.
7. Suggesting to the ER nurse that starting an IV in the palm of my hand is NOT a good place to start an IV, that I'd much rather have one placed in my neck or foot. Turns out my foot had to be used due to the severe dehydration. (Not the palm of my foot, the top part)
8. The charley horsesclydesdales from hell! I think I have no more calf muscles. Seriously, there is nothing there anymore.
9. Tea now tastes very weird. I hope this will quickly pass.
10. My ostomy bag losing a tight seal and having it leak everywhere and being too tired to really care.
11. Insane cravings for orange juice and salt, but not at the same time.
12. Watching the Pink Panther movies on On-Demand cable.
13. The pleasing sensation of actually being hungry for food after two days of nausea.