February 2007 Archives

1. My internship. All I think about anymore is my case load, client contact hours, and wondering if I'm becoming an indentured servant.
   
2. Crochetville Secret Pal registration. Yeah, it was last week but I'm finally getting over the experience!
   
3. Difficult conversations with Pooky. Both of us were being very difficult to converse with.
   
4. Endlessly wondering if there was an assignment I needed to be working on. None that I could think of.
   
5. Devoting time to my interpersonal relationships (maintenance instead of task) left little time for creating lists.
   
6. Lack of Divine Inspiration. I've been divinely inspired in other ways.
   
7. Too much time spent commuting and not enough time spent not commuting.
   
8. Channeling my whimsical charming energy into amusing my fellow interns and providing comic relief and entertainment. This is how we cope with the stress of becoming a therapist.
   
9. Brittany Spears' drama over the last couple of days has really held my imagination captive. What will she do next?
   
10. Not being able to sleep a wink until finding out who is the real father of Anna Nicole's baby, and hoping that no one else will come forward claiming to be the father.
    
11. My monthly period re-set itself and I was out of synch with the world until my hormones "normalized".
    
12. Senility is creeping up on me. I am rapidly losing my sense of time.
    
13. Smee has not been giving me the usual dose of morning love. Life sucks without kitty love!
    

I ascribe to the Edgar Cayce definition of karma: it is soul memory. In previous incarnations we interact with other souls and these are imprinted on our soul. When we meet that same soul again we are inclined to try to repeat that way of interacting with them. Soul mates can be lovers, but more accurately, a soul mate is someone who helps you meet yourself. What is the purpose of reincarnation and karma? It is to help us align ourselves with God so that we may reunite with the original source, The One.

The following is a list of soul mates I've met in my life that I am aware of the previous relationship(s) I've had with them. What makes karmic relationships awkward for some people to process is that lovers in one lifetime may become parent and child, or siblings, or best friends, in another incarnation.

Karma has a very strong pull on us, but we have the free will which allows us to, at any moment, be more than our karma. When we transcend karma through "grace" we negate our karmic debt.

1. My sister. We've been together many times before, usually as siblings or parent-child.
2. My first boyfriend/husband was my son in a previous incarnation.
3. My second significant other I thought of him as "the sister of my soul". A romantic relationship failed miserably between us. We got along spendidly as friends and people often thought when the first met us that we were brother and sister.
4. Jean-Marie is someone I corresponded with for about a year. I know that in a previous life we were romantically involved. I had strong, passionate feelings for her and if we had been of the opposite sex I think we would have been a couple again.
5. Pibb is someone I met on the first day of naturopathic medical school. Our karmic connection is I have a strong impression we lived in a monastery together. I shared my impression with her and she thought it rang with some truth. She's a devout Christian and will occassionally go on retreats at religious facilities.Her karmic tendency is very apparent!
6. D.E. is someone I corresponded with for about two years. I knew were were lovers before. He and I had a strange psychic connection. I knew all along we were never going to meet in person. I think the reason we were in each others lives is to heal and forgive what happened in the past.
7. Carol is a woman I briefly worked with. Before I even met her I dreamt of meeting her. In the dream it was explained to me that she is "the mother of my soul". I never shared with her my dream, yet it really didn't matter. I think at some level we just knew.
8. One of my fellow Shrones is someone with whom I'm aware of a karmic relationship. I sense we've been sisters and lovers before. Being friends in this life has allowed for us to be mutually healing and therapeutic to one another.
9. J.E. is someone I don't rightly know how he and I were karmically related. All I know is that I thought of him as "The One". At times I swore I could see his aura radiating. He did not believe in anything spiritual at all. This made for some interesting conversations. I think the purpose of us meeting in this lifetime, at least for me, was to awake my sense of Divine Love. It is through him that I became aware of a deeper sense of my soul and my connection with the Divine.
10. Pooky is "the husband of my soul". Upon us meeting in person the thought flashed in my mind, "It's like seeing an old friend again after so many years!" I think Pooky and I may also have been siblings and parent-child in the past at some point.
11. Pooky's mother, my MIL. There was a time where I kept thinking of her as "Mary" and in my mind I'd say to her, "Mary, it's going to be all right." I consulted a psychic about this. She told me of what had happened between us. A fairly interesting story, which I won't share here, but she did confirm we'd been sisters.
12. My Little Sister. I think she may have been my daughter in a previous life. I think of her as "Melissa" and have to make sure I call her by her given name. We're both Virgos.
13. There's two of my classmates that I don't know very well, but I sense a karmic soul memory with them. There is a gal whom I always want to call "Ida". I even told her about my suspicion about I probably knew her as Ida before, and she believes in reincarnation, too, so she thought it was pretty interesting. We haven't yet made any connection about how we were specifically related. A second person is another classmate. I have a memory of jealousy toward her, as my sister, and that she paired up with a man with whom I had a crush on. I haven't yet talked to her to find out if she believes in past lives. I don't feel actively jealous of her now.

    
    

I was thinking about all of the CD, cassettes, and records I've purchased over the years for just one song and then the rest of the album is never listened to. How many albums do I have or have had that I really enjoyed the entire album? Here's the list I came up with:

1. XTC: Skylarking
2. Judybats: Pain Makes You Beautiful
3. Alphaville: Forever Young
4. Kate Bush: The Kick Inside
5. Eurythmics: 1984
6. k.d. lang: Invincible Summer
7. Falco: Einzelhaft (It's all in German but still great music!)
8. Gene Loves Jezebel: Immigrant
9. Emerson, Lake & Palmer: Works,Vol. 2
10. The Moody Blues: Days of Future Passed (I have to listen to this album in it's entirety because to me it's one work)
11. Captain Sensible: A Day in the Life of...
12. The Smiths: Meat is Murder
13. Cocteau Twins: Blue Bell Knoll

I've been working on a presentation/discussion about having an ileostomy for my fellow graduate students, and anyone else who is interested in learning more about living with an ostomy. Here are 13 things that I think are worth sharing about having an ileostomy!

1. An ostomate needs a sense of humor, especially when the bag snaps off and poop goes everywhere. I think the best thing to proclaim in such a situation is, "Holy shit!"
2. Despite the leaks and having to intimately deal with one's own feces, having an ostomy in many ways is better than having active ulcerative colitis or Crohn's disease. My energy level is high, I'm not chained to the toilet, and I can plan my life again!
3. I think it's cool that ostomates name their stomas! Mine is named Ian-Sophia.
4. I didn't realize the sexual issues that men and particularly homosexual men face in having an ostomy. The abdominal surgery itself can affect the nerves that are associated with erectile functioning and cause dysfunctioning, and losing the rectum can greatly impact the homosexual male.
5. The sexuality issues that female ostomates face pertain to body image. An ostomy bag just doesn't look sexy. Also, if a woman enjoyed anal sex she won't be able to after the surgery.
6. I'm sure this warning came about because people tried it (I assume because they are curious): Do not put anything into the stoma. I think this is mostly about sex, but maybe someone tried putting a tampon inside to stop the output?
7. I'm still not used to having to carry supplies and a change of clothes with me if I'm going to be away from home. I am getting more used to it.
8. A bowel obstruction is incredibly painful. Be sure to avoid those foods that are known to cause an obstruction.
9. I can still wear most sexy clothes (thongs are out, but I never cared much for them anyway) but since having the ileostomy I've gained weight and will need to slim down in order to wear the really sexy stuff again.
10. I have regained my confidence that I can accomplish whatever I set my mind to and not worry that my body will limit me. This is the most valuable thing to have returned to me, along with being able to get a good night's sleep!
11. My ileostomy only makes farting noises during intimate moments. I don't know why that is. The rest of the time it is silent.
12. I prefer a two-piece ostomy appliance. A one-piece doesn't feel sturdy or secure enough to me.
13. Having an ileostomy and the stomach flu is not a pretty combination. That's one instance in which I would much rather having normal plumbing.