Yesterday was a rainy day in my head. More like a thunderstorm with a couple of tornadoes. I grieved my sense of loss, of my frustration, of my anger and pain. I went into the storm feeling I needed to cast blame, like casting out a fishing pole, hoping to hook onto something or someone so I could reel it in.

Pure raw emotion cannot be put into words. I wouldn't even want to try to capture what I was feeling into language. The emotion is language in its own right. It's been released, most of it emptied from my system. Most of it is gone so I can move on now. I may relapse, but not to the same depth.

How this all relates to seeing the first magnolia bloom—I can't explain it. I take notice of the firsts of any season. I ascribe a special significance to these firsts—it has spiritual meaning to me. What makes this first magnolia bloom more meaningful to me is how awful I felt yesterday. I felt like I didn't want to be in relationship with Pooky anymore. It's more about how we relate and communicate with each other than anything else. Seeing the magnolia bloom lifted my heart. It was one of those little messages from The Essence that says, "It's not so bad, really. There's hope. There is a future. Don't close your heart. Keep it open. See the beauty and wonder that surrounds you. You need to see it now more than ever."

All said by one little flower.