I needed to check my perceptions, and thankfully I have a sister who has worked with children and parents (she's a schoolteacher turned school librarian) with whom I could bounce my brain upon regarding the situation with the Little Sister falling through.

When I relay a situation to someone, I try to give as much objective description as possible. I don't speak of myself in the third person, but I do present both sides, the details and events as I recall them. It's the story writer in me that makes me convey things verbatim as people said things, etc.

Some things in my mind didn't add up. One being that the Little was highly excited about doing something with me and wanted to go do something right then and there. She wanted to sleep over at my house, was interested in doing all sorts of things with me. We shared so much in common it was freaky. I don't think children can fake or put on pretenses: they are transparent with their emotional states (until they get old enough to learn to censor themselves and to dampen emotional reactions that adults have taught them are inappropriate or unwanted).

I think she was capable of expressing her like or dislike because at the beginning of our meeting she was emotionally open enough to say she was feeling embarrassed and she was shy about talking at first. I was impressed with her ability to sense and convey her internal emotional state. She wasn't afraid to vocalize that she was feeling embarrassed about having to talk. But once we broke the ice everything flowed nicely.

About 30 minutes into the meeting the case manager said it was time for her and me to do the Getting to Know You Q&A by ourselves. The case manager returned about 15 minutes later to check on how things were going and were we ready to return to having her dad come back and have us all talk? The Little said very certainly and right away, "We need more time! We have more questions to go through!" She was enthusiastic, engaged, and I think she was happy and enjoying herself.

My point being: For her father to say that his daughter felt pressured to agree to the match is not in alignment with her previous responses or behaviors. Therefore, it is my conclusion, along with my sister's sage interpretation of things, that the father has an issue. We'll never know what that issue is.

Though I am getting less and less surprised by people's inexplicabale behavior, I don't think I'll ever be surprised by how people will deny a really good thing in their life when it is presented to them. Yes, I think I can make such a statement because I've been guilty of casting out goodness when it has come my way. I've been mighty pissed at it, too, for showing its really good self, and I cursed it away.

I went into being a Big Sister to learn more about families, parent-child relationships, and children. Looks like I've plunged in the deep end already. In my inner sanctum of my soul I know that I will be matched with a Little, someone with whom we'll have a great time together. It's meant to be, the Universe is just waiting for the right moment to spring it on me.